Confessions of a Realtor: The Weirdest Things I’ve Seen During a Home Tour

By Melinda Lynch – Pittsburgh Realtor Extraordinaire

If I had a dollar for every time I walked into a home and thought, “Well, that’s a choice,” I’d have already retired in a vintage pink Victorian in Shadyside, sipping rosé on a porch swing. But lucky for you, I live for this real estate rollercoaster — weirdness and all.

As a full-time Pittsburgh real estate agent with over a decade of experience (and a closet full of dresses and heels to match every neighborhood), I’ve seen it all. So today, in honor of April Fools’ Day, I’m spilling the tea on the wildest things I’ve seen while showing homes around the ‘Burgh.

1. Taxidermy in Every Room… Including the Bathroom

I once showed a house where every room had a “guardian” — a mounted deer head, bear, or what I think was a porcupine with sunglasses. But the cherry on top? A raccoon lounging in the tub. Stuffed, of course. It was giving “Hunting Lodge: Maximalist Edition.”

2. A Shrine to Nicolas Cage

One seller had an entire wall dedicated to framed photos of Nic Cage — full-on shrine style. Action Cage, Romantic Cage, even Vampire’s Kiss Cage. Was it ironic? Was it real? We may never know.

3. The Dungeon Basement

Yes, I said dungeon. Chains on the wall, medieval lighting, and what looked like a sacrificial table. We did not go down there. My buyer said, “This home has great bones — but also possibly actual bones.”

4. A Surprise Guest… in the Shower

Pro tip: Always knock before entering a bathroom during a showing. Once, my client opened a door and there was a guy just chilling — fully soaped up and mid-shampoo. I shouted, “Sir, this isn’t that kind of open house!”

5. A Room of Dolls. So Many Dolls.

Floor-to-ceiling porcelain dolls, all staring directly at you. My client whispered, “If one of them moves, I’m out.” I told her, “If one of them moves, I’m becoming a travel agent.”

So what’s the moral of the story? Real estate is full of surprises — but I’ve got the sass, smarts, and stilettos to handle it all. Whether it’s navigating a bidding war or sidestepping a doll army, I’m here to make your home buying (or selling!) process fun, fearless, and totally fabulous.

Thinking about buying or selling in Pittsburgh? Let’s chat. No raccoons or Cage shrines included — unless that’s your vibe.